A cautionary tale – for Pickpockets
Real stories are often the best. Embellished real stories are often better. This is one.
How the Rutherford Family defeated organised crime is now the stuff of legends in Barcelona and Spain.
The story as told publicly is this: Travelling between tourists spots in Barcelona Mark was pickpocketed boarding a train at the “Diagonal” railway station. Observing this Pamela and Heather raised the alarm, Craig and Mark set off in hot pursuit and the pickpocket dropped the wallet. With Craig and Mark shouting “Policia” the team of three pickpockets set off out of the station soon to be apprehended by some of Barcelona’s finest who had responded to our calls. 3 hours later they were free and charges had been laid.
This is what really happened: Travelling between tourists spots in Barcelona Mark was pickpocketed boarding a train at the “Diagonal” railway station. One pickpocket, let’s call him “Stocky” blocked Mark as he tried to move into the carriage, another let’s call him “Blue Stripe” blocked Heather behind Mark and held the train door open while a third, let’s call him “Yellow Shirt” removed Mark’s Wallet from its velcroed thigh pocket. Pam and Heather realised all was not well and called the alarm. Mark, an experienced pickpocketee from Istanbul had a sense of Déjà vu and checked his pocket as the band of brigands jumped clear of the train as the doors closed.
These pickpockets were naïve. Don’t mess with the Rutherford’s and don’t pick on an Aussie are two lessons they were about to learn. Craig leapt from the train in hot pursuit as the furtive band scurried for an exit. Pamela, known for her speed, overtook him. “Stoppen Schweinhunde”, yelled Craig. “We are not in Berlin” Pam threw over her shoulder. Heather added her voice “Basta, Basta”. Mark looked aghast. “It means ‘stop’ in Italian” said Heather, “I thought it might work”. Mark yelled at them with such obvious ferocity that the pickpocket promptly dropped the wallet and then helpfully pointed at it lying on the platform as if to say “Hey look what I found at my feet”. Now confronted by two angry Aussies yelling “Policia” very loudly, the trio headed for an exit as Mark recovered his wallet and checked it – nothing missing.
Craig resumed the chase hurdling over surprised commuters with Pam in close support. Pam had reached into her handbag and drawn her fan so now the Rutherford Family were in armed pursuit. Heather remained behind to help Mark back to his feet as he had toppled over while striking the grasshopper pose in preparation for a fight. Arriving on the concourse the three pickpockets were seen on a walking travelator 100 metres ahead. Heather spotted a security person and got his attention while Mark and Craig pointed out the bad guys.
Lesson for pickpockets: When running from Aussies do not get on a travelator. A sprinting security guard is faster than you and you can’t get off.
Yellow Shirt was soon led sheepishly back to the Rutherford Family and identified. Although nothing had been lost, the crime fighting family decided to press charges. It was time to rid Barcelona of these scum and teach them a lesson.
Back at the station things began to unravel for organised crime. Yellow shirt was singing like a canary, video surveillance and full mobilisation of the Guardia De Barcelona soon captured Stocky and Blue Stripe and undercover policemen were buzzing around the station. (Some could have been pickpockets, it was hard to tell.)
Craig and Mark were grilled for hours providing full scene of crime reports, filling out forms in English and then in Spanish. We can only assume what was happening outside, as the Policia followed up all the new leads and began to bust the syndicates behind organised pickpocketing. It was only when King Carlos personally called to thank the Rutherford Family for their outstanding service to Spain and to offer them Freedom of Entry to the City of Barcelona that they realised this had been Barcelona’s finest hour and the beginning of the end for people that would terrorise travelling Aussie families.